An Evening Stroll along Beach Drive to Oak Bay Marina, BC - a time to reflect on life
I took this photo some time back when out for a fall evening stroll in Oak Bay, BC. Winter is shorter in BC than in some other parts of Canada, and it can make a person feel like it is easier to cope with inclement weather. Spring starts earlier, and hope seems to be ushered in sooner. Coming from Ireland originally, I recall how daffodils bloomed in early February. Victoria and the Oak Bay area in particular remind me a lot of where I came from in Cork, Ireland. At different times in our lives, we think of times past. Now in my fifties, I think again and reflect with a new lens, a new perspective. I wonder about things around me, and I am very mindful of the topics that come to the fore for my clients in their lives. Many clients seem to be struggling with the changing world around them. I agree it can be unsettling. Many lament the changes in the landscape and mourn a little for times past. I joke with them that this isn't too different from a similar stance to what our grandparents and old neighbours had. But there are serious elements to people's worries. Core areas, for example, like the city of Victoria, can seem really different. With the closure of lots of stores, the city has a different feel. For various reasons, people are less likely to wander downtown and do some shopping. This can feel like a loss. It is not as much about material loss as it is about experiential loss. There is a history for people that is theirs, about times that they enjoyed alone or when they met up with people for a meal downtown. While that can still happen, many clients describe a certain level of discomfort. Yes - whether it is downtown Victoria, Edmonton or Calgary as examples, a lot of the inner cities' cores are changing. What can we do about it? Well, for starters, we know that with every generation, changes to infrastructure and landscapes are seen, and things, while different, have often changed for the better.
Counselling in Victoria, BC, in a time of city changes
How is this relevant to counselling? First, it is essential to be able to express your feelings. Seeing cities change is not impersonal; the changes impact us. I recall my first trip to Victoria, BC and how I experienced it, and I can compare it to other trips and how my experiences were different depending on what I encountered along the streets. Counselling can be a great place to unload how changes make you feel low and ultimately depressed. Changes can feed existential angst. Clients, like myself, want to have a sense of control over life. At times, we can feel helpless in the face of change. The feeling of helplessness makes us vulnerable. If clients have more of a propensity to experience times of darker moods, these objective business changes, for example, in the city of Victoria, BC, can have an epic impact on clients' mental health. We all like a little bit of routine, some more than others. Having a ritual of making our morning coffee can be enough to stabilize people, but also seeing things remain the same, while not at a boring level, is also important for stabilizing us emotionally.
Finding hope in a time of change
While it is not immediate, when we share in counselling how things affect us, we can feel lighter. Our moods can improve with talking about how we are feeling. While there may not be an immediate solution to things, we can take time to evaluate what is really triggering our thoughts and behaviours. We can see if we can live in the interplay between acceptance and rejection of what is before us. If we rail against the things we see, like downtown city changes, where will that leave us? But if we are not directly involved with some future plans, how can we be okay with waiting to see what happens? There are many people with ideas on how to renew or repurpose certain areas. Can we look at areas that are doing well and maybe decide to head down to a village and support a local cafe or bakery? Can we seek to make new memories and shop at different stores? While we acknowledge some losses, we can make new memories through the creation of new patterns and habits that might help us feel good again. We don't always find solutions in counselling, but I find that clients find the outcomes that they need by engaging with the process. They leave saying, 'This has been very helpful,' and I often wonder what it was that was the key element that brought some relief. Quite often, I think it is knowing that a person is given the freedom to articulate out loud what it is that they have been recently reflecting on. Just like when I took a stroll down Beach Drive in Oak Bay, we have lots and lots of thoughts and feelings, and sometimes it is just really nice to share them with someone else. If you think I am able to be that person for you, seek me out here at Nolan Lighthouse Counselling, Victoria, BC. Clinical counselling may seem scary or unnecessary, but how do you know without trying it?
Understanding the signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment of depression is the first step to overcoming the problem.